Dearest Girl,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Monday, the 7th of August 2000.

With reference to the meeting held between us on the 7th of August 2000 at 1500 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.

Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.

I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation.

Yours sincerely,

[Boy]

Dear Boy

Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased to inform you that I hope to accept your proposal for romance.

However, you should be informed that there are certain conditions of acceptance. Promotional prospects are to my satisfaction. However, please enlighten me as to your retirement benefits. Gratuity should be generous. I also need to be assured that there is sufficient security with regards to this commitment. If there is any?  chance at all of retrenchment or consequent disinterest on your part, then I should receive monetary compensation according to union
standards.

Due to the nature of my position, I am sure you will agree that an expense account should be arranged for my access in light of the 'VIP'. I shall be entertaining. In addition, housing and
transport allowances should be in order and nothing less than a Jag is in order.
Please also note that there should be no moonlighting restrictions placed on myself.

If you are still interested in the relationship, please reply on an urgent basis as other prospective lovers havesent indications of interest.

Please also note that my sister is happily employed.

Yours perhaps,
[Girl]

My dear jaan

It has been a long time since my senses have exchanged messages with my brain to write a letter to you.

You are present in all the four chambers of my heart & your beautiful image is printed on the retina of my eyes. I want your beautiful voice to keep my ear-drum vibrating like a tuning fork. I have grown your favorite roses in my garden so that their smell may keep entering my nasal
passage and the beautiful and charming color of their corolla reminds me of you. The beautiful color of your iris attracts me like an electron is attracted towards the nucleus but the fear of your father repels me with the same force.

Yesterday, your presence in the party made my heart beat at the rate of 175 beats/sec. The velocity of my blood increase at the rate of 15m/s and became 80 m/s.Your personality attracts me like a centripetal force but the medulla oblongata of my brain compels me to convert this
centripetal force in centrifugal force .

I revolve around your house like an electron in its orbit.

Whenever I see your father a wave of fear having simple harmonic motion passesthrough my vertebral column and my heartbeats are reduced to one half of the original. At the moment a love covalent bond exists between us but in future I hope it will change into an Ionic bond.???  As to every action there is a reaction equal in magnitude but opposite in direction.

Therefore, I hope you also love me with the same magnitude of  the love that I love you with.
In the end, I hope your affection is directly proportional to the product of our love and inversely proportional to the square of your father's hate.

Yours